Resilience Made Me Dangerous

Often times you will hear people state that they aren’t a fan of change. They have a seton routine and they have become accustom to it. They are very linear in their way of thinking. A slight update or shift and the grumps and complaints can be heard. It seems to be natural to resist change and for those of us who embrace well we are simply weirdos. However, I have always been an advocate for change. If things aren’t changing then I am not evolving. Change does not have to be bad. Once I became resilient to resistance I realized how dangerous I truly was. There was nothing that anyone could throw at me that would knock me off my game. But there are different kinds of change and how they impact you will determine your response. When it came to work I was all for change as long as it didn’t impact my home life. But at home my change was more minimal. I may paint a wall here, rearrange some furniture there, or maybe suggest a move. But there was no huge lets scrap everything and start over kind of change.

Then there came a time that I was in jeopardy of losing everything, and that impacted my family. It hit me at my core, and my resistance to change became a thing. I could leave a company and take a package or I could settle for a job making significantly less. Now initially my thought was take the package, pay off debt, and use this opportunity to start over doing something you love. You could take part of the severance and invest it in your own business. I was given a few weeks to make my decision, and boy was this a decision to be made. I could stay with the company make less, and if they went under I would just be belly up. Or I could leave, get compensated for it, and start over. If I only had to worry about myself I would have chosen the latter with no hesitation, but because it wasn’t just me resistance set in.

During my mulling it over time frame I decided to look for other jobs. I hit the pavement hard hoping to land something before my departure date. Seventy-five applications later and no one was calling. I knew my skill set wasn’t an issue so I couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong. Finally, the phone started ringing but they were contracting for a company that I couldn’t work for due to a non-compete agreement. I still 90 days on that agreement. So I began to think okay well I could just be unemployed until my non-compete is null. But I had never been without a job and the feeling was a bit eerie. Determined not to call it quits I swallowed my pride and begin to tell my network what had happened to me and that I was looking for referrals.

They began to toss out names and companies; and I began the lovely process of interviewing. Side note interviewing has to be one of the most painstaking tasks ever. With my network vouching for me it was easier for companies to entertain the thought of hiring me; even when we both knew that they wouldn’t. With every NO I became more resilient to the process, and the NO’s began to phase me a little less. I will admit that the first NO stung like hell. I was in a funk for days. I had blown the opportunity for a big contract, and I was obsessed with trying to figure out how I could get my foot back in the door. I was so desperate that I even attend the company picnic for a company that I did not work for.

Yup, I had hit an all time low. I was at the very bottom of the barrel, and if we are being honest I didn’t really see a way out. I had no clue where I need to go from there. The easiest thing for me to do would have been to quit and settle for a job I knew I didn’t want. Justifying it by saying I have to make sure my family eats. At the end of the day that’s all I cared about. But in taking that job I would have to work longer hours, and probably on the weekends to make ends meet. So, was I helping my family or causing more damage because they would never see? Granted my kids are all teenagers and they only want to see me when something is broken or they need money, but that was beside the point.

I couldn’t admit defeat because I didn’t want my kids to thing that it was okay to quit. You got a no so just settle was not the message that I wanted to send. I wanted them to understand that they could recover from any setback that they experienced in life. So, I pulled myself up and kept trying. The NO’s kept coming, and I began to ask some why I wasn’t a good fit. I got everything from the salary requested was too high to I just didn’t fit the look and feel of the company. Whatever that meant. Then out of nowhere it hit me like a ton of bricks. Like I’m a gem. I would be an asset to any company. Why was I trying so hard to impress these people? I mean outside of needing employment. Some of the interviews that I went on walking into the building you could tell that the morale of the company was down. And before I take any job I will reach out to current and former employees to ask about the culture of the company. Yes, I am that creeper. I began to change up my strategy on how I approached this. I could easily focus on my business, but for anyone who is an independent contractor you know that’s no easy task. While I am great at what I do being independent meant I also had to do the administrative items and constantly search for work. Working for an employer meant I just needed to show up.

So when asked at the end of the interview if I had any questions. I would started to say how is the company morale, and would follow with I know what I bring to companies and depending on the morale and culture this may not be a good fit for me. I could see a shift in people’s expressions like how dare she think we aren’t good enough. Well we will show her. My NO’s became YES’s, and as crazy as it sounds at that point I wanted to hear NO. They no longer bothered me. I knew that there was absolutely nothing I couldn’t do, and that I would land on my feet. But I started to get returned calls and offers from employers. Not one to rush I asked if I could have some time to think it over. (Yes, I am still thinking) Working for an employer is an easy way out, and it tends to be the answer for some. However, I don’t think that is the answer for me. I given this opportunity to reinvent myself.

However, in not wanting my family to starve I will put on my superhero cape and try to work and stand up my business. The point that I am trying to convey is the easiest thing for me to do would have been to quit. I could have admitted defeat crawled into a dark place and licked my wounds. I could have spent days, weeks, months feeling sorry for myself; but my resilience wouldn’t let me. Going through this experience has showed me that there isn’t anything I can’t do. A NO simply means okay this is right for me on to the next. Them telling me NO was actually saving me not hindering my progress. Now I’m freaking unstoppable and there is nothing I can’t do. Except skydive; we are working on it but I don’t see it happening in the near or too distant future.

Related posts:

Anxiety is a normal human emotion. Every person feels it to different degrees through out various stages in life. However, how we manage this anxiety ultimately decides how we approach life and how…

Can a pastor be divorced? Yes, a pastor can be divorced. Many pastors are currently in the process or have been. Before we decide on whether or not that makes it "right," let's take a look at a…

Hace unos meses los grandes operadores se han visto abocados a un paulatino incremento en los precios de sus tarifas. La razón: MásMóvil y su impresionante progresión desde mediados del 2016. Los…