A Reminder to Strong Black Women

My mother once told me that she admired my strength because I was “always willing to take the blow to the chin.”

That made me sob.

And she was, and is, correct.

I face things head on. I get the information and move accordingly, no matter how difficult it is. No matter how much it hurts.

I’ll cry, and I’ll be sad, but I’ll always do what needs to be done.

Because that’s what black women do.

But to be honest, I’m tired of being strong. And when shit hits the fan, I refuse to pretend like it doesn’t affect me.

I come from a family of strong black women, and that’s not a unique experience. We are born into a legacy of strength, resilience, and tenacity. The black woman is the divine manifestation of grace and perseverance. We have the ability to exist and transcend the spectrums of society. Our minds and our spirits are able to stretch unimaginable lengths, much like the curls and coils that spring from our brilliant minds. We constantly defy the odds that are stacked against us.

With all of this womanness, it’s important to remember that although we bend, we can also break. Strength doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t be handled with care, it means that we need to be protected.

Yes, black women are strong and beautiful, but it doesn’t stop there. We are so much more. We are divine and dynamic.

I challenge society’s perception of the strong black woman. Strength does not mean hard. There’s strength in vulnerability, in the quiet tears that roll down your face in the shower and in your pillow so no one else hears. There’s strength in living in the truth that sometimes self care is more than a quiet night, a nice book, and a glass of wine.

Sometimes you need more, and you always deserve more.

Black woman, it is okay to cry out loud, to grieve, to mourn, and to lean onto others. It’s okay to say that you’re not okay. Just because you can do something alone, doesn’t mean you necessarily want to. It’s okay to set boundaries and to stand firm in them.

And when life hits hard, I hope that you remember that it’s okay that a cut, does in fact bleed.

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