What Words Eased my Worry?

Last week I was worrying.

I was leading a 12 step meeting. The meeting I attend every week. A place where I feel at home.

To lead the meeting I follow a script that welcomes everyone, ask for volunteers to read the designated readings, share a message on a specific topic, open the meeting up for sharing, and bring the meeting to a close.

Here’s what my worry sounded like:

should I get on the meeting 10 minutes early? will that be enough time to find volunteers? what if everyone shows up right at 9:30? should I text/call people ahead of time to ask them to volunteer? is that what people who have successfully run the meetings so far have done? I don’t want to look like an idiot. wait, I have nothing to worry about. it always works itself out. I can give this to God. is my meeting topic silly? what about closing the meeting early for a group conscience (not an every-week experience)? I haven’t run one of those before. can I get away with leaving early so I don’t have to do it? this is silly. it’s a meeting. it’s not that important. everything will be great.

Oh my God….does this ring true in any moment of your life?

I kept coming back to these two questions:

If I am comfortable at this meeting why am I worried?
If I’m comfortable with technology why am I worried?

I gave myself some grace. I told myself, “I’m worried. Ok. Sometimes I worry about things and that’s normal. This too shall pass.” The worry persisted.

What I couldn’t put my finger on was this underlying thought:

I’m not allowed to worry about things I know. My worry isn’t appropriate here.

Judgment.

I was able to get to that thought because of these words I heard from someone in the meeting.

Dis-ease doesn’t have to be alarming.

In this situation it was alarming. Many times this week, in uneasy moments, I have recited this phrase aloud. I have taken it a step further by saying, “Dis-ease is welcome.”

While alarm bells are appropriate to get us out of danger, most of the time there is no real danger.

If dis-ease (said other ways — discomfort, being uncomfortable, feeling icky) is welcome, I can turn my judgment into compassion, which can make the process a little easier. If I can make it easier, I want to.

What are you worrying about? If dis-ease doesn’t have to be alarming how does your outlook change?

Share your answer below.

Much Love as Always,
Sarah xxx

p.s. know someone who worries? share this with them.

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